Audiobook Length: 11 hours and 5 minutes

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Genre: Nonfiction, Memoir

Publisher: River Grove Books

Published Date: September 19, 2023

Goodreads’ Synopsis: From a young age, Layla Salek has experienced some people as colors—her mother brown, her father green, her husband rainbow. As she notes, sometimes, when words fail, colors speak.

Chaos in Color is the captivating story of Layla’s journey from childhood to adulthood with a mother who suffered from untreated bipolar disorder. Each chapter paints a vivid, heartbreaking picture of the abuse, neglect, and trauma that she experienced as she grew up at the mercy of her mother’s bipolar swings, an incompetent mental health system, and the strangers with whom she was often left. But dissipating those times of darkness were moments of love, joy, and happiness that she felt while being cared for by others in her life. These moments inspired her to start her own family, complete a doctorate in psychology, and work with children with mental illness and severe behavior disorders.

Layla’s story traces how personal and familial trauma is carried into adulthood and how it can be released through forgiveness. This honest, provocative memoir offers a relatable account for others who have experienced similar trauma, as well as hope for healing and a future full of light.

Read Start Date: January 30, 2024

Read Finish Date: February 5, 2024

My Review: I received this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. The book chronicles Salek’s journey from childhood to adulthood, growing up with a mother who suffered from untreated bipolar disorder. Through vivid and emotional prose, Salek paints a picture of the abuse, neglect, and trauma she endured, but also her resilience and, ultimately, her path toward forgiveness.

I really liked this book. It was honest and raw, and it did not sugarcoat anything. The author was unapologetic in telling her trauma story, which is really brave. I could not help thinking of my young daughter as I read this book. I cannot imagine EVER treating my daughter like Salek’s mother treated Salek. It just plain broke my heart.

The one aspect of the story that I was not so enamored with was the relationship to the colors. Salek possesses the unique ability to see people in colors, each representing their aura and experiences. However, I found that this ability was not fleshed out well in the book. Salek refers to each person by their color on multiple occasions, but she doesn’t really explain what each color means to the reader. For example, her mother was either “brown” or “black.” While intuitively, I can assume that “black” is negative, I have no idea what a brown aura means. A friend of hers is “purple.” You can pull from the story that purple is good, but the exact meaning is never explained. This is true of all the main players in the book given colors.

Chaos in Color is not an easy read. As I mentioned above, it dives headfirst into the harrowing reality of childhood trauma, weaving a narrative that confronts abuse, neglect, and resilience with unflinching honesty. This is a crucial strength – the book doesn’t shy away from uncomfortable truths, making it a powerful testament to the author’s journey.

However, this raw portrayal comes with triggers. Descriptions of emotional and physical abuse may stir difficult emotions, and the overall weight of the story can be emotionally draining. Despite the heavy subject matter, the book portrays hope and the human spirit’s ability to persevere. Salek’s courage in sharing her story and ultimately finding forgiveness is truly inspiring. I would definitely recommend it for readers who can handle the emotional toll.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Netgalley. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.