BOOK REVIEW: Fat Vampire 2 by Johnny B. Truant

16132952Title: Fat Vampire 2: Tastes Like Chicken

Author: Johnny B. Truant

Book Length (Audiobook): 4 hours 14 mins

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Genre: Fiction, Fantasy, Humor, Paranormal

Read Start Date: September 14, 2019

Read Finish Date: September 15, 2019

Brief Summary of the Plot from Goodreads: It’s been six months since fast-food-addicted Reginald Baskin was turned into a vampire too fat to live peacefully amongst the glamorous undead — six months in which Reginald and his two-thousand-year-old maker Maurice have learned that power doesn’t equal popularity. Sure, Maurice is now calling the shots, but the Council is up to new and dirty tricks, threatening to once again upset the balance…

But when the Vampire Nation faces genocidal violence at the hands of an unstoppable force and the very future of vampire kind is threatened, Reginald, Maurice, and Nikki must find their allies elsewhere… buried deep underground in a foreign land.

My Past Review(s)Fat Vampire 2 is the 2nd book in the Fat Vampire series.

You can read my review of the 1st book in the series, Fat Vampire, here.

My Review: I gave this book 3 out of 5 stars because I didn’t love this book, but it was entertaining. There are a ton of mixed reviews about this book — it seems one either thinks its funny and amazing or one doesn’t like it at all. I find that I fall somewhere in the middle. I finished this book about 9 days ago, and I can honestly say I am drawing a blank on most of the book. This could be a symptom of the cold I was coming down with, or maybe the plot just isn’t so memorable.

I remember it has something to do with angels and incubuses trying to take over the vampires? Reginald is still the worst vampire ever, but trying to hone his mental abilities. Nikki (a vampire wannabe) is in training, and Maurice is delegating his vampire council duties to avoid being assassinated.

Then they take some trip to Europe or something? I don’t really recall why. I don’t remember the ending at all, but apparently there was a twist!

Apparently there are 6 books total in this series, but I haven’t decided whether to read on or not.

 

 

BOOK REVIEW: Fat Vampire by Johnny B. Truant

16067851Title: Fat Vampire

Author: Johnny B. Truant

Book Length (Audiobook): 3 hours 58 mins

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Genre: Fiction, Fantasy, Humor, Paranormal

Read Start Date: September 7, 2019

Read Finish Date: September 9, 2019

Brief Summary of the Plot from Goodreads: From the author of “Unicorn Western” comes a story of fangs and fast food…

When overweight treadmill salesman Reginald Baskin finally meets a co-worker who doesn’t make fun of him, it’s just his own bad luck that tech guy Maurice turns out to be a thousand-year-old vampire.

And when Maurice turns Reginald to save his life, it’s just Reginald’s own further bad luck that he wakes up to discover he’s become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever born, doomed to “heal” to his corpulent self for all of eternity.

As Reginald struggles with the downsides of being a fat vampire — too slow to catch people to feed on, mocked by those he tries to glamour, assaulted by his intended prey and left for undead — he discovers in himself rare powers that few vampires have… and just in time too, because the Vampire Council might just want his head for being an inferior representative of their race.

Fat Vampire is the story of an unlikely hero who, after having an imperfect eternity shoved into his grease-stained hands, must learn to turn the afterlife’s lemons into tasty lemon danishes.

My Review: This is the first book that I have read by Johnny B. Truant (is his name supposed to be punny or is this is real name?) Anyway, this book is exactly what it sounds like — a fat guy becomes a vampire. This book was funny I guess, but I never laughed out loud of anything. Not even a little chuckle.

Essentially the plot goes like this: Reginald is a fat treadmill salesman (que the irony please). He befriends a goth kid (Maurice) at work (who of course works the nightshift) only to find out that this kid is actually a 1,000 year old vampire. While bowling one night, some of Maurice’s vamp friends take a bit out of Reginald, and he will die if Maurice doesn’t turn him, so he does. Now Reginald is doomed to be fat and unfit FOR EVER. However, since his physical skills are nill, he gets mad intelligent skills, which is rare for vampire these days because they all train before being turned — its like all Stepford wives up in vampire world. BUT, Maurice did a bad thing because Reginald’s turning was not sanctioned by the Vampire Council. Uh oh.

While the plot was different than most vampire books you read, I wouldn’t exactly call it life shattering or anything. Since the book was so short and a lot of stuff happened, there wasn’t really any time for character building and I wasn’t really invested in the characters, and didn’t really care about them so much.

Having said that, I wouldn’t not recommend the book — just don’t go into it with high expectations.

 

 

BOOK REVIEW: Breaking Up Is Hard To Do… But You Could’ve Done Better by Hilary Campbell

31944977Title: Breaking Up is Hard to Do…But You Could’ve Done Better

Author: Hilary Campbell

Book Length: 150 pages

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Genre: Nonfiction, Humor, Comic, Graphic Novel

Read Start Date: May 6, 2019

Read Finish Date: May 6, 2019

Brief Summary of the Plot from Goodreads: Anonymous break up stories from men and women, old and young, serious and silly and the cartoons that inspired them. Author and artist Hilary Campbell turns the painful into the hilarious, validating emotions from forgotten middle school tragedies to relationships that ended only hours ago.

My Review: I have mixed feelings about this graphic novel — but maybe that is the point! Some stories were funny. Other stories were just okay…but I found myself thinking in both cases, OMG did that really happen to you / did you really do that!?

If you are looking for a short, fast, cute, and funny read, I would suggest this book.

10 Book Reviews

Professional Reader

 

 

 

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Netgalley. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

BOOK REVIEW: Croquette & Empanada: The Book Romeo Would Have Given Juliet by Ana Oncina

42202751Title: Croquette & Empanada

Author: Ana Oncina

Book Length: 132 pages

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Genre: Fiction, Comic, Graphic Novel, Humor

Read Start Date: May 4, 2019

Read Finish Date: May 5, 2019

Brief Summary of the Plot from Goodreads: A classic love story: doughy appetizer boy meets doughy appetizer girl. Together they exist in a world cohabited by humans.

Croquette is looking for love—his sweet, silly other half.  Empanada hopes she can find someone who accepts her for who she is. It’s a match made in tasty, tasty heaven. Internationally bestselling author Ana Oncina’s Croquette & Empanada explores modern love and domesticity with charming comics. Enjoy the antics of this adorable, culinary couple as they navigate romance and cohabitation, from deciding to move in together to purchasing their first pet.

My Review: This comic was funny, sweet, and relatable. I really liked the cute artwork and the stories are ones that every compatible couple can relate to. He may be a Croquette, and she an Empanada, he likes dogs, and she likes cats, but together they make a sweet and loving couple who find themselves in endearing and humorous situations. I mean, who hasn’t insisted to watch a movie that the other doesn’t want to, only to fall asleep immediately after it starts? Who hasn’t signed up for the gym, been motivated for about ten seconds, and then promptly lose interest?

I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is looking for a fast, fun, and adorable read.

Thanks to Netgalley and the author for providing me with a free ARC!

10 Book Reviews

Professional Reader

 

 

 

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Netgalley. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

BOOK REVIEW: Business Cat: Hostile Takeovers

42202745Title: Business Cat: Hostile Takeovers

Author: Tom Fonder

Book Length: 144 pages

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Genre: Fiction, Humor, Comic, Graphic Novel

Read Start Date: May 3, 2019

Read Finish Date: May 4, 2019

Brief Summary of the Plot from Goodreads: After clawing his way to the top of the corporate world, Business Cat’s professional standing is secure — or is it? Following a surprise audit from the IRS and some nefarious scheming by his executive rival, a business dog named Howard, things go downhill fast. Business Cat’s exile from the C-suite isn’t always pretty — he winds up in temp jobs, alleys, foster homes, and the kennel — but it is always entertaining. Author Tom Fonder’s story of Business Cat’s remarkable journey provides a thrilling conclusion to the series, and one office workers, cat lovers, and comics fans will cheer on to the finish.

My Review: This comic is freakin hilarious! I was literally laughing at every comic strip. If my cat was a “business cat” she would undoubtedly do the same things. Every cat lover should read this comic, and the rest of humanity should too. I love the artwork, I love the story line. The only thing that I didn’t like is that I had to stop reading (because the comic came to an end).

Thank you to Netgalley for the free ARC!!

10 Book Reviews

Professional Reader

 

 

 

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Netgalley. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

BOOK REVIEW: The Last Black Unicorn by Tiffany Haddish

34974310Title: The Last Black Unicorn

Author: Tiffany Haddish

Book Length (Audiobook): 6 hours 29 mins

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Genre: Nonfiction, Autobiography, Essays, Humor

Read Start Date: April 8, 2019

Read Finish Date: April 10, 2019

Brief Summary of the Plot from Goodreads: From stand-up comedian, actress, and breakout star of Girls Trip, Tiffany Haddish, comes The Last Black Unicorn, a sidesplitting, hysterical, edgy, and unflinching collection of (extremely) personal essays, as fearless as the author herself.

Growing up in one of the poorest neighborhoods of South Central Los Angeles, Tiffany learned to survive by making people laugh. If she could do that, then her classmates would let her copy their homework, the other foster kids she lived with wouldn’t beat her up, and she might even get a boyfriend. Or at least she could make enough money—as the paid school mascot and in-demand Bar Mitzvah hype woman—to get her hair and nails done, so then she might get a boyfriend.

None of that worked (and she’s still single), but it allowed Tiffany to imagine a place for herself where she could do something she loved for a living: comedy.

Tiffany can’t avoid being funny—it’s just who she is, whether she’s plotting shocking, jaw-dropping revenge on an ex-boyfriend or learning how to handle her newfound fame despite still having a broke person’s mind-set. Finally poised to become a household name, she recounts with heart and humor how she came from nothing and nowhere to achieve her dreams by owning, sharing, and using her pain to heal others.

By turns hilarious, filthy, and brutally honest, The Last Black Unicorn shows the world who Tiffany Haddish really is—humble, grateful, down-to-earth, and funny as hell. And now, she’s ready to inspire others through the power of laughter.

My Review: I had never heard of Tiffany Haddish before reading this book. I am giving it 5 out of 5 stars because I actually laughed out loud when I was reading this book — and that rarely happens, even when the book is supposed to be funny. This book is not only freaking hilarious, but Haddish reveals the good, the bad, and the ugly of her life in a surprisingly intimate fashion. From being called a dirty unicorn when she was a child (because she had an ugly wart on her forehead which looked like a horn), to sexism in the work place (comedy is still predominately men), and lastly to an abusive relationship with her twice ex-husband (she married and divorced him two times) Haddish reveals in poignant (and hilarious) essays how and why she is the person she is today. Where most people would have crawled into a hole and died, Haddish turned her pain into comedy and realized her dreams. I can’t help but to salute her for her triumph in the face of so many odds against her.

The Audiobook Recording: The audiobook is read by Haddish herself, which added tremendously to the book. Not only are the words themselves funny, but the way she tells the story makes it even funnier. Even when the subject matter is not really funny (like the parts about her abusive ex-husband) Haddish finds how to present it in a humorous way to get passed the uncomfortable part and get to the story. I think people in general do not want to hear about negative subjects like poverty, abuse, etc — but if you frame it in funny terms, people actually listen.

I would definitely recommend this book to everyone!

BOOK REVIEW: Calypso by David Sedaris

35832073

Title: Calypso

Author: David Sedaris

Book Length (Audiobook): 6 hours 45 mins

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Genre: Humor, Nonfiction, Essays, Memoir

LinkGoodreads

Brief Summary of the Plot: Calypso is a series of essays or stories. Most of the stories are about Sedaris and his family. Goodreads says “When he buys a beach house on the Carolina coast, Sedaris envisions long, relaxing vacations spent playing board games and lounging in the sun with those he loves most. And life at the Sea Section, as he names the vacation home, is exactly as idyllic as he imagined, except for one tiny, vexing realization: it’s impossible to take a vacation from yourself.”

The Writing: The writing is excellent. David Sedaris is probably one of the funniest authors I have ever read. I find myself laughing out loud at some of the many stories (I usually never laugh while reading, even if its supposed to be funny). For example, I particularly liked his story about getting a fit bit. Once he got the fit bit, he was obsessed with getting steps. Starting out with 10,000 he soon graduated to 20,000 steps a day, then 30,000, all the way to 60,000 steps! From walking around his tiny Sussex village (he was living in England at the time), to picking trash up off the road, he would find things to do just to make the steps. When his fitbit broke, he asked himself “Walking twenty-five miles, or even running up the stairs and back, suddenly seemed pointless, since without the steps being counted and registered, what use were they?” He promptly purchased another one.

The Audiobook Recording: the audiobook recording is also really great. The audiobook is read by the author, which makes it extra special, because, well, he is just a super funny guy. Parts of the audiobook seem to be recordings of his stand up comedy acts. My favorite stand up act was about the things people said around the world to curse out another person during a road rage attack. It went something like this: “The Romanians really do lead the world when it comes to cursing. “What have you got for me?” I asked a woman from Transylvania who was now living in Vienna. “Shove your hand up my ass and jerk off my shit,” she offered. I was stunned. “Anyone else would say, ‘Shove your hand up my ass,’ and then run out of imagination,” I told her. “You people, though, you just keep going. And that’s what makes you the champions you are.” Maybe it’s not too late to learn how to drive, I thought, watching as she walked out the door and onto the unsuspecting streets of Vienna, this poet, this queen, this glittering jewel in a city of flint.”

Expectations/Recommendations: I previously read another book by David Sedaris (Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls) back in 2017, and I remember liking it. This book surpassed my expectations. I would definitely recommend it.

BOOK REVIEW: Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis

35542451Title: Girl Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be

Author: Rachel Hollis

Book Length (Audiobook): 7 hours 4 mins

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Genre: Non-fiction, Humor, Memoir, Self-help

Read Start Date: January 3, 2019

Read Finish Date: January 23, 2019

Brief Summary of the Plot from Goodreads: “Founder of the lifestyle website TheChicSite.com and CEO of her own media company, Chic Media, Rachel Hollis has created an online fan base of hundreds of thousands of fans by sharing tips for living a better life while fearlessly revealing the messiness of her own. Now comes her highly anticipated first book featuring her signature combination of honesty, humor, and direct, no-nonsense advice.

Each chapter of Girl, Wash Your Face begins with a specific lie Hollis once believed that left her feeling overwhelmed, unworthy, or ready to give up. As a working mother, a former foster parent, and a woman who has dealt with insecurities about her body and relationships, she speaks with the insight and kindness of a BFF, helping women unpack the limiting mind-sets that destroy their self-confidence and keep them from moving forward.

From her temporary obsession with marrying Matt Damon to a daydream involving hypnotic iguanas to her son’s request that she buy a necklace to “be like the other moms,” Hollis holds nothing back. With unflinching faith and tenacity, Hollis spurs other women to live with passion and hustle and to awaken their slumbering goals.”

My Review: I’m having a really hard time writing a review about this book because I really do not know how I feel about it. I didn’t love it, and I didn’t hate it. It paled in comparison to the other memoirs I read this year so far (Educated and The Year of Less), but it was also entertaining. Sometimes I could not relate to the author (e.g. she is a Christian and talks openly about God, and I am not religious). Other times, I did relate to what she was saying, and I generally liked her “you go girl” attitude.

This book is by far not my favorite, but a solid 3 out of 5 stars.