Title: Jailbirds

Year: 2019

Genre: Reality TV, True Crime

My Rating: 4 out of 5 Stars

Platform: Netflix

Date Watched: May 11, 2019 to May 12, 2019

Brief Summary of Plot from IMDb: At the Sacramento County Jail, incarcerated women fight the power and one another as they try to make the best of life – and love – on the inside.

Episode Name

Episode #

Date Watched

Dressed into Orange	1	11-May-19
Ima Be That Phatt B*tch	2	11-May-19
We’re All Criminals	3	12-May-19
Swimmin’ in Sh*t, Bruh!	4	12-May-19
It’s a Crazy Beautiful Kinda Love	5	12-May-19
She Swung at Me, I Swung Back	6	12-May-19

My Review: In the first episode we meet several women incarcerated at the jail. Probably my favorite line of the entire first episode is when Gaylon Beason, a 36 year old woman who is a convicted armed robber with two strikes, arrested for violating her parole, stated that she was excited to be finishing up her 90 days in jail, so that she could use the bathroom without having people around her and it “smelling like booboo”. I mean, I guess I can understand. Who doesn’t want some privacy when they go “booboo”? Ms. Beason later goes on to say that she flirts with the other women in the jail, but she is married so she is going to keep “her spit in her mouth and her hands to herself.” Wow. That’s so nice of her!

I do not know why I am so fascinated with these types of shows, but I am basically addicted. It is interesting, yet somehow also disturbing, to listen to how these criminals think. Most are not remorseful, and talk about their crimes like I would talk about how I went shopping or got my hair cut. They seem thrilled to be on camera telling their stories, and most hold nothing back, even if it could influence their court case.

I am also fascinated by the tattoos that the prisoners have. Most of the time while they are in prison, they get even more. Megan Hawkins (a.k.a. “Monster”), arrested for grand theft auto and transportation of narcotics, used to run a successful tattoo business back in New York, that is before she was arrested for selling drugs. She did three months in jail back in New York, before moving to California to change her life around. Unfortunately for her, she started dating a real winner (not), and they both (!) ended back in jail on domestic abuse charges. She claims to have tattoos over 50% of her body. Her ex was on the show also (he was in jail for the same incident).

I always wonder what possesses a person to get such a tattoo? As much as tattoos are considered art, it is still the harsh reality that people with such noticeable tattoos are kept out of the conventional job market. The most noticeable tattoo is the one on her face, over her left eyebrow, which says “Monster”. Her ex, “A1” also had several tattoos on his face. I just don’t get it.

I am often saddened by how normal these women seem; how they have real life dreams, but then mess it up for themselves by turning to a life of crime. Najla Jones (“Noonie”), a self proclaimed “nice ass real bitch”, thinks of Megan Hawkins, as the “lighter to her cigarette”. Nice imagery, right? She was arrested for pimping and pandering, and has a $1,000,000 bail, which of course she cannot afford. As of the filming, she spent more than one year in jail. Noonie grew up in the foster care system, but has dreams of becoming a social worker when she gets out of jail.  Sadly, this dream is probably out of reach for her now that she has a record.

This show also introduces us to male inmates (not just female ones). During the first season the male and female inmates form relationships with each other (often developing messy love triangles), by talking and sending long love letters to each other through the toilet. Yes, you have read correctly. They use the toilets like telephones and the postal service. See, the jail is 8 stories high, and the plumbing is all connected. The inmates can “bail” out their toilets (remove all the water) and then talk into the toilet. I mean, they put their whole face inside that nasty bowl and confess their love through the drains. Gross. To send messages they make lines out of t-shirts, which gets snagged together when they simultaneously flush the toilets. Then one prisoner pulls the line and out comes a plastic baggie with the letter inside. If the prisoners put as much effort into staying out of trouble as they do thinking about how to talk through toilets, there would be no more crime!

I don’t mean to trivialize the plight of these inmates, because let’s face it, jail is no joke, but sometime I can’t help but to think, “whaaaat?” I don’t want to spoil any of these crazy moments, so I will just say, that if you are like me and like true crime and reality TV, then this show is for you and you should totally watch it! Since there are only 6 episodes it’s easy to binge watch it in a weekend, or even in one day.

Happy Watching!